sarah | maryland | tennessee | equestrian

" She’s stubborn and hard headed but god knows I love her. There’s days when she’s grumpy for no apparent reason other than the fact that she’s grumpy. When she’s sick, she’s helpless and all you can really do is hold her in your arms and comfort her till she falls asleep. There’s days when she’ll complain about everything like the weather, people, music, or even you and you’ll just have to deal with it. She’ll complain about the room being too hot, to only result in closing the windows in the middle of the night because she’s too cold. There are days when she shuts the world out, she’ll ignore everyone because she just wants to sit in silence. Sometimes, she’ll claim she can eat an entire cow because that’s just how hungry she is. So we’ll make dinner plans and I’ll pick her up just to have her say, “I ate already, I was too hungry but I’ll still eat a little something.” There are days when she suffocates me with love. She’ll kiss and kiss and kiss, till I beg her to stop. She’ll tickle me until my insides hurt and hold my hand till it’s sweaty. There are days when she’ll claim every part of my body with her lips. And there are days when she’ll need her space and I’ll have to pull a chair up alongside the bed because she just needs her own space. There are days when her hair is messy and all over the place. Days when she’ll cry and you don’t know why but you won’t ask you’ll just let her cry. Days when she’s nervous and jumpy about everything. Days when she yells at me for no reason just to apologize two seconds later. Days when she’s a pain in the ass and pushes my buttons just to settle it with kisses. Days when I’m listening to my favorite song and she’ll talk over it because talking is more important than music. There are days when I need her to make decisions, to do the littlest things like pick a place to eat. She’ll refuse and say “I don’t know” until I give up and decide myself. Sometimes she’ll swear like a sailor and make jokes during times when she should probably be serious. There are days when it’s 3 in the morning and she won’t let me sleep and days when she’s too tired and fast asleep by 10pm. Sometimes she’s clumsy and sometimes she’s a walking contradiction; but she is everything I’ve ever wanted. I’d do everything to have her bad days, her grumpy days, her “I need space days,” her love me days, her laughing days, her clumsy days, and her happy days, because she is everything I’ve ever wanted and I wouldn’t dare trade her for anything in this world. "
" Tell me when you first met, tell me when she made your heart skip a beat. Tell me how with her you never cried because she was everything you needed. Tell me how on rainy days the sky never seemed to be so bright. Tell me how every love song made you think of her, tell me when you thought of holding her hand for the first time but was unsure how to make the move. Tell me how your lips seem to fit perfectly on hers. Tell me how the moon light will never be able to shine as bright as her. Tell me how her name is permanently tattooed in the back of your mind even though it has been 8 months after she disappeared. Tell me how she broke you and everything you dreamed of, tell me how you cried yourself to sleep every night for 3 months because waking up with her not beside you is the most terrifying thought. Tell me how your mom still talks about her. Tell me how you almost say her name to every new person you try and like. Tell me how being in bed with that stranger was never the same. Then tell me, why on your wedding day you saw the wrong person dressed up, looking at you. Tell me why you still dream of her every night. Tell how years later you still can’t go to bed with out listening to her favourite song. Tell me now that you can’t even talk to her even if you wanted to, tell what you would tell her, because now it’s to late and now she’s gone. "
" I have physical scars all over my body, but it’s the mental scars I’m worried about anyone seeing. "
" Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to. "